Alex Pye

Anyone know why I have a little puppy in my office? Corrie?

I just wanted to remind everyone that our doors are always open if you want to talk. The sessions are confidential. So, feel free to come talk to any of us, even if you're doing it just to get out of class. And, hey, even if you don't want to talk, I happen to know that Ms. Erica McIntosh keeps a batch of fresh biscuits in her office at all times, Mr. Theophilus Bode  has an excellent collection of books and music he's willing to lend out but you have to go in, and Miss Chelsea Stoddard  has a puppy with her most days.

Private to Salome Goldstein
Your name was given to me by a concerned individual. Would you like to talk? I can't offer you music or animals, but we can probably steal a few of those biscuits when she's not looking. How about it?

Cease and desist, please. thanks.

Attn: Corrie & Kitty. I have a date, and she's not blonde. Also, I met your mother. I'm obsessed with her, too. I understand now. That's all.

Dearest darling sisters of mine, guess who is going to mum's first match.

That's right.

You.

How is everyone else today?

Dearest Darling Sisters of Mine:

You may want to find a nice, quiet place to hide out for a bit.  You know, somewhere out of hearing distance of other people. Expect a howler shortly. You don't have to heed my advice, though. This is just some friendly advice.  Mum & dad know something's missing, and I bet you know what. 

I hope you like community service.  You'll be doing a lot of it from here until... well, your 85th birthdays by my calculations.  But, don't worry, I've saved mum and dad time & have compiled a list of charities for you.  Don't you just love me & my lists?  I know I do.

Acceptable Charities:
Distressed Witches
The Miriam Woolsie Center for Orphaned Children
Azkaban Survivor's Relief Fund
The Royal London Society for the Blind
Aid for Alex and other Really Brill Brothers
The Society for the Cure for Spattergroit (maybe they can help you look into those boils)
MILF (Mooncalf Independent League Front) Sorry mum might not approve of this one.
Gillyweed Addicts Anonymous
Samaritans for Sandy
The Harry Potter Scholarship Fund
Clean My Socks
Shut that Corner Bird Up
Carl's Commission
Save The Puffskeins
Save Eric MacMillan & Other Endangered Species
Keep Sarah and Ada: The Muggle Life off the Telly

Very Truly,

Your Loving Brother

Does anyone else have any suggestions for charities?

To the Ladies With the Boils: Miss me yet?


Private to Mister Henry Smith:

Hullo there kid. I need your assistance.